The rumors of my death where greatly exagerated ;D

So I'm the worlds worst blogger, I really am. I've spent the last few months going from depressed, to content, to joyful, and back around. My healths fluctuated, as usual and I started to feel that injecting medication into my spinal column and brain is normal. It even became mundane, like doing the laundry if your laundry could end your life, or cripple you permanently. (I have friends who do believe their laundry has such capabilities.) In between that, being a mother, and dealing with the weather I've been skating through life, falling through the ice, coughing up water and crawling out with a leopard seal chasing my ass like I'm a trout. Today I had my pulse ox get down well below normal, and it made the rest of the day crappy. Today was also L and Ry's first day of Pre-k and Preschool. They both enjoyed it immensely, and secretly? 4 hours alone, knowing I could have the house to myself, was so amazing. I didn't know what to do with myself, with both WoW on server maintnance, and my two main munchkins at 'school'. So I ended up watching Tv and playing fetch with the pupperitos, indoor fetch is not the safest sport ever but it just makes it more fun. Christmas was great, I got everything I wanted and then some. Kids got everything they wanted, and we had my Mother-in-law and Brother-in-law in town, both of them really made this first Christmas with valley fever, easier.

Health: My healths not getting much better, and recently I've started experiencing very severe side effects from my antifungal. After being moved onto voriconazole, for my pulmonary nodules and pneumonia my lungs began to clear. Sadly the amphotericin B we're injecting into my spine is not having the same effect, and we may need to soon up the frequency of infusions. This puts my kidneys at great risk of damage, and the last infusion left me unable to grip objects for hours, and most likely led to two serious apnea episodes. My hands where so shakey, and the harder I tried to hold onto an object the harder it got. As if gravity increased ten fold on smaller objects, and when I held a mouse the pointer shook. Somedays this scares the shit out of me. I've lost some weight, and will need to really make an effort to gain. Diabetes control is so hard on TPN and steroids, that my recent A1C is useless because of the amount of swinging I did.

I promise to post tomorrow, I have more to talk about. I'm going to talk about my World of Warcraft Toon Meerka, and I'm also going to talk about why I play her. You might be shocked behind my reasons, for now I'm entering this post and going to cuddle up.


I leave you with this- Please read them to yourself, then listen to the song. Think about all those things in your life, and how amazing and unique love is.

PONDER: IF LOVE IS THE ANSWER, WHAT IS THE QUESTION?

LOVE- Sugarland

Is it the face of a child
Is it the thrill of danger
Is it the kindness we see in the eyes of a stranger
Is it more than faith
Is it more than hope
Is it waiting for us at the end of our rope

I say, it's love
I say, it's love

Is it the one you call home
Is it the Holy Land
Is it standing right here holding your hand
Is it just like the movies
Is it rice and white lace
Is it the feeling I get when I wake to your face

I say it's love
I say it's love

Is it the first summer storm
Is it the colors of fall
Is it having so little
And yet having it all
Is it one in a million
Is it a chance to belong
Is it standing right here singing this song

I say it's love
I say it's love
I say it's love
I say it's love


Is it a veil or a cross
Is it the poet's gift
Is it the face that has launched over thousands of ships

is it making you laugh
is it letting you cry
Is it where we believe that we go when we die
Is it how you were made
Is it your mother's ghost
Is it the wish that I'm wishing for you life, for you life, for your life the most


The parts I bolded, or italicized, are imporant and will be talked about tomorrow.