This post will be shorter, because I'm beyond tired. After nights of pain and a total of 6 break through seizures, with seizures getting longer and the recovery time afterwards nearing the danger point I've been admitted to hospital in Phoenix. I'm not feeling well at all, I'm on a lot of drugs that have led me to sleeping most of the day. Days like this, are tough, testing my strength and patience. I had an MRI earlier today, and laying through the scan I kept turning over the words to a song I'd heard a few times.
"SO damn easy, to say that lifes so hard
Everybody's got their share of battle scars
As for me I'd like to thank my lucky stars
That I'm alive, and well.
It'd be easy to add up all the pain
And all the dreams you sat and watched go up in flames
Dwell on the wreckage as it smolders in the rain
But not me...I'm alive
And today you know that's good enough for me
Breathin' in and out's a blessing can't you see
Today's the first day of the rest of my life and I'm alive
And well...I'm alive and well
Even on my worst of days, where I sleep most of the day and listen to my neurologist try and figure out how to keep me alive. Even when I'm in pain, and hazed over with drugs for most of the day. I'm still alive. And today, you know, that's good enough for me. Breathing in and out's a blessing, can't you see? I'm so happy to be alive.. Maybe not well, right now, but I'm still here. Once I have told my tale, of 11 months with a fungal infection, you all will see how much of a real miracle that is. Every moment you're breathing, every moment is precious.
(This took me every free moment I had, that wasn't spent sleeping, hope it's ok. I'm very out of it today, it's been long one)
Monday, October 5, 2009
Tough.
Posted by Life full of bRATS at 8:19 PM
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10 comments:
I will be thinking about you. Keep fighting. Or not. Whichever you're up for.
Hope you will feel even just a little better soon.
That song is... hopeful. I am glad you are hopeful. And I am praying for you, that you experience the relief you need. Be well, tonight.
I so wish that I had the words to help. Know that you will be in our thoughts as you always are and know that we are all hoping and praying that the doctors can find someway to be able to truly help you.
My thoughts & prayers are with you & your daughter. Hope you feel better soon & I hope she is ok during your hospital stay. Get some rest. Keep us posted.
Oh, Kay. {{{{{You}}}}}
I hope you get out of there and back home soon. I will be praying for you and praying hard. I hope you don't mind that and if you do...well, uh-oh.
I hope that you have a better day tomorrow and the MRI that you had gives the Dr. some ideas of what to do to help you have less "bad days"!! Take care and hope you are able to keep in touch in OHIH and let us know how you are doing!!!
I'm thinking of you and hoping for a speedy recovery. While I don't personally know what a seizure feels like, I just know how I feel watching my "baby" have seizure after seizure.
I'm sending you good thoughts and please let me know if there is anything I can do...even though I'm several states away.
*sending big cyber hugs*
Kay
was awake and thinking of you. offering a prayer that you have a night free of seizures and pain and full of rest for your weary body. hope tomorrow brings some answers to your doctors and you. sending you a (((hug))).
Kay,
Gentle thoughts with you today. Please let me know if there is anything I can do....I am here thinking about you.
Wishing you the best and hope you are out of there soon. Hope the doctors find something to bring you peace.
Kristin
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